Getting Started

As the Pastoral Search Team, we are thrilled to be open about our process and include you, the rest of our church family, as much as we can while protecting the privacy of future candidates. We’re just getting started, so there’s not much to share just yet. But to begin the habit of transparency, here’s what’s been going on so far: We have a book we’ve been reading and pulling out useful tips; it’s called, Search: The Pastoral Search Committee Handbook, by William Vanderbloemen. Dane found it, and we’ve all had a chance to start reading our copies. Some notes in there will likely not be as useful for River’s Edge, but there've been a number of really good points about things we should start doing early, and make sure that we’re in sync about now as a team. One of the things that the “Search” book recommended was to

How to Overcome Impossible Odds

I think we would all agree that the emu, Australia’s unofficial national bird, is a national treasure. Yes, they cannot fly, but they are the second-largest bird in the world and are either adorably ugly or weirdly cute. However, Australians have not always been fond of the emu and with good reason. Emus can be quite the pest. Free-roaming herds of emus have been known to invade farms, eat any and everything they can find and trample the rest into the dirt. And in the 1930’s, this was a real problem. To meet a country-wide food shortage, the government subsidized hundreds of new farms along the western coast. The smell of fresh crops must have lofted to the interior of the country because the next thing anyone knew, 20,000 emus had decided to pack up all their belongings, leave the inland regions and journey west. For them, the smell of

Not a Core Strength

Let’s play two truths and a lie.  Here we go:  I was told by my first-grade teacher that I would never be a good reader.   I was told by a superior that I had a lazy tongue and should reconsider my career.   I was told by one of my high-school teachers that I was the worst speller he had ever seen.   So, which one is the lie? Okay, I lied. All three are true (one I proved mistaken, but the other two were significantly on target—but you will have to guess which is which). Okay, new game. After learning about what these people said to me, which one comment do you and I have in common? Does it concern poor reading, poor speaking, or poor spelling? Okay, I lied. It was a trick question. We don’t have any of these specific criticisms in common. What we do have in common is that someone is routinely saying negative

How to Win the War

How do you win a war? You might think that the answer is found in a superior army, a greater air force and a better navy. Or maybe advanced weapons turn the tide or perhaps its financial resources that win the day? None of your answers are even close to the truth! To discover the secret of successful warfare, you need to embrace the Liechtenstein strategy. In 1866, the Austrian Empire and the Kingdom of Prussia went to war. Liechtenstein allied themselves with Austria and sent 80 soldiers to tilt the war in their favor. The Austrians deployed these soldiers to guard a key highway between Austria and Italy (Italy was a Prussian pawn). One month and eight days later, the war ended (!), and the Liechtenstein army returned home to world applause. Not only was no one wounded or injured during the campaign, but while they left with 80

If You Don’t Know Where You Are Going. . . .

One of my favorite episodes in the old TV series, The X-Files, was aptly named “Humbug.” The plot was easy enough to follow. The agents are called to investigate a strange murder in a Florida town inhabited by sideshow performers. And while the whodunit is fun (was it the Fiji Mermaid, the Dog-Faced Boy or one of the other people from the town?), the real story (at least for me) focused on one of the sideshow characters named Dr. Blockhead. Now, Dr. Blockhead was in pursuit of spiritual enlightenment by any means possible. One of the key scenes is when Scully found him torturing himself by being suspended by large hooks that ripped away at his flesh. When he saw that Scully could not grasp what he was doing, he explained: “It's a variation of a Native American sun dance ritual. I suspend myself by these hooks, and the pain

How Can I Look It Up When I Can’t Spell It?

True story. My parents had a friend who had made several bad life choices, and things were not looking up; but he had figured out a sure-fire solution to change that. Back in the day, if you were not a good speller, you were sunk. There was only one course of action: If you didn’t know how to spell a word, you had to look it up in the dictionary. But to many, that only added insult to injury: If you didn’t know how to spell it, how could you find it in a dictionary? Our friend had a solution. He created a dictionary of misspelled words. He figured out every possible way a word could be misspelled, wrote those words down phonetically and then put them in his own dictionary. It took years to put it together, but he figured it would sell like hätˌkākes. Unfortunately, right before he

What Are We to Make of All This?–Part 2

It was hockey heaven. In February 2025, four nations faced off against each other to decide which country was the supreme hockey power in the world. Sweden, Finland, Canada and the US all sent their best players to Montreal to play for hockey glory. And it was glorious. It was fast. It was offense. It was defense. It was unbelievable goaltending. It was physical. It was everything they had versus everything the other team had, and it was breathtaking. There was not a minute that disappointed. And at the end, it all came down to who had the biggest heart, who had the indomitable will to win and who refused to give up. And it all came down to overtime in the gold-medal game between Canada and the US. And it was absolutely spectacular. Why? Because we all love a great finish (even if the Finns weren’t in the game!). Today,

What Are We to Make of All This?–Part 1

Imagine you’re playing a very serious game of Clue. You’re wearing a fedora with the brim pulled down low, and every five minutes you say something that you hope sounds like Humphrey Bogart. You may even be packing heat. You’ve played the game well, and you are zeroing in on who-done-it. You know where the dirty deed was done and you know how it was done, but you’re not sure who did it. It could either be Professor Plum or Miss Scarlet. It is your turn. The good news is you’re holding the “library” and the “lead pipe” cards so you can play them to smoke out your culprit. In your best Humphrey, you snarl, “Library, lead pipe, Professor Plum.” No matter what happens, you will soon know which of your suspects did it. The woman to your right shows you a “Professor Plum” card. You give her a little smirk and say your favorite

Mark This Down, Part 2

“I can tell which way the wind blows,’ said Tom vainly, “and I am sure that, since Part 1 started off with Tom Swiftie puns, Part 2 will do the same!” Well, Tom was right. Here are eight more puns that you can soon mark as read.   “I am a lot taller than I was yesterday,” Tom said gruesomely. “Boy, that is an ugly hippopotamus!” Tom said hypocritically. “The doctor had to remove my left ventricle,” said Tom half-heartedly. “The exit is right there,” Tom pointed out.  “Let’s watch Star Wars!” Tom said forcefully. “I have a BA in social work,” Tom said with a degree of concern. “3.14159265,” Tom said piously. “I dropped my toothpaste!” Tom said crestfallen.  Mark this down, after weeks of looking at a theology of demons from books of the Second Temple period and trying to ascertain where demons originated, what maladies they could inflict, how

Mark This Down, Part 1

You either hate or love Tom Swiftie puns. If you hate them, I am sorry.  If you love them, well, as Tom said right before he flipped the switch, “You will be delighted.” Here are some of the classics: “‘Where are my pants?’ asked Tom briefly.” “‘These lines keep intersecting,’ Tom said crossly.”  “‘I like ragged margins,’ said Tom without justification.” “‘Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes,’ Tom said sheepishly.” “‘I’ve got a new watch,’ Tom said with abandon.” “‘I’m tired of boat rides,’ Tom said sternly.” “‘I’ve been waiting to see the doctor,’ said Tom patiently.” For the last few weeks, we’ve been trying to ascertain how people in Jesus’ day (and even how Jesus himself) perceived demons. We’ve consulted the “Book of the Watchers” (3rd century BCE), the “Book of Jubilees” (2nd century BCE) and the “Dead Sea Scrolls” (1st century BCE); and all of them

Seeking Advice from the Dead

You need to know the context.   Last Sunday, my sermon introduction was a dud. I talked about a question that I had heard years before that had plagued me ever since. The question was: Suppose you’ve been given an elephant. You can’t give it away or sell it.  What would you do with the elephant?” I said that we would go to a store, buy a big umbrella and head to the beach. The response was underwhelming. It was my fault. No one knew the context.  They didn’t know that originally my sermon was too long which necessitated me hacking away at my introduction. There were originally two other questions. They were cut. Originally, I told people these were questions innovative employers used to interview prospective employees. This fact was cut.  All I left in was the question about the elephant. No context. No framework. No understanding. Worse, no Super

The Evil Down Jubilee Street

It seems that demons are everywhere in the movies. You could even say that they are one of the rare things that occupy both Hollywood and the church equally! Consider these popular movies which “star” demons. We have The Omen, The Reckoning, and The Ring. We have Rosemary’s Baby, Jennifer’s Body and Jacob’s Ladder. Exorcisms are very popular in the movies. We have: The Exorcism, The Last Exorcism, The Exorcism of Emily Rose and My Best Friend’s Exorcism.  And let’s not forget demon movies that have developed into series. Two will have to do. First, we have The Evil Dead (an ancient Sumerian text conjures up seven movies and a TV series) and second, consider The Conjuring (three films in the original series, three more featuring Annabelle, two more featuring the Nun and one that features La Llorona—that’s a lot of conjuring!). Apparently, demon movies like one-word titles: Insidious, Sinister,

Who’s Watching the Watchers

I do not like Bible movies. Let me begin by saying, I didn’t watch The Bible: In the Beginning. I also chose not to watch, “The Chosen.” “Veggie Tales” has plenty of Bible stories, but I haven’t munched on any of them. Groucho Marx supposedly said, “I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.” Well, I’m not into “Veggie Tales,” but I know people who are; and, in my opinion, they are worse off for it (can anyone be “fine” after watching “Minnesota Cuke and the Search for Samson's Hairbrush”?). The only Bible movie that I could ever watch was The Ten Commandments, but only because Edward G. Robinson used his Little Caesar voice to say, “So, where’s your God, now, Moses?” And the reason I disliked all of these movies is the same reason I disliked Russel Crowe’s Noah—Hollywood feels they have to add things to the

The Birds and the Demons

In the preface to C.S. Lewis’ classic book, The Screwtape Letters, there is a warning about how one should think about should demons in our world (or as he calls them, “devils”). Lewis writes: “There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them.” One a sliding scale, I am closer to the former option than the latter. Don’t misunderstand me. I do believe in demons, but the demons I believe in, resemble more closely those described by Lewis than those portrayed in the gospels. C.S. Lewis’ demons make sense to me because I see people tempted each and every day. When the head-demon, “Screwtape,” tells his apprentice, “Wormwood,” how to use prosperity to tempt people, I listen because this is demonic

What Happened to the Sheets?

When Star Wars first came out, my aunt and uncle saw the movie and fell immediately in love with this great space saga. They even bought the merch to go with it, including sheets for their two sons’ twin beds. All was well in their household and everyone slept soundly dreaming of Luke and Leia and Hans and Chewy. Soon, thereafter, a friend invited my aunt to go to a revival meeting at their church. There she learned about demons and witchcraft and evil spirits and how they can prey on people’s souls today, if those people let them. And how do they let them? They open a doorway to the demonic world by dabbling in the occult and false religions. And these revival leaders said that nothing speaks more about dabbling in the dark side of the occult than Star Wars. My aunt was aghast at what she had

The Story That Is a Question, Part 3

It is no longer a news flash: The Christmas story is not a story; it’s a question. How is that possible? Because the whole purpose of the Christmas story is to ask a question. Let me explain with a series of stories; and to help us see some connections, let me highlight two key words  The children of Israel are slaves in Egypt and have been for centuries. It is a hopeless situation, and there is no indication that anything will ever change. These people will suffer and die in Egypt, not only as individuals, but as the people of Israel. But then, God speaks to Moses out of a burning bush and calls him to go to Pharoah and say those remarkable words, “Let my people go!” And Moses goes to Pharaoh, but Pharaoh won’t budge. In fact, Moses’ confrontation only makes things worse. In a show of force, Pharaoh prohibits the

The Story That Is a Question, Part 2

Everyone calls it the Christmas story. You probably call it the Christmas story. But the point of the Christmas story is that it is not a story at all. It is a question. But to see that, you have to have the right eyes. Let me explain with another story. The story of Elisha is also a question. In 2 Kings 6 we find Elisha in a difficult spot. He is a very wanted man, but not in the good sense. The king of Aram wanted him bound and gagged and forcefully brought before him. And for a very good reason. Israel and Aram were at war with each other, but every time the king of Aram made a move to gain a strategic advantage, he was thwarted.  Originally, he was sure there was a spy among his top military advisors, but they quickly set him straight. The problem was

The Story That Is a Question

Everyone calls it the Christmas story. You probably call it the Christmas story. But the point of the Christmas story is that it is not a story at all. It is a question. And, to add insult to injury, if you don’t see the question, you’ll never get the story right. And it is not a brand-new question that no one had ever thought of before. It’s been around since the very beginning, but we still fail to ask it. Sadly, we are not alone in this, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s begin at the beginning.   Genesis 1 starts off with a remarkable claim. Eleven times in a chapter of thirty-one verses, we read that God spoke. It is an astounding claim. There are many who believe that God, if he even exists, is silent. But Genesis proves otherwise. Far from being silent, distant and unknowable, God comes

Giving Thanks, God’s Will and the Gift of Great Perspective

Carl Sandburg, the great American writer, tells a story of when he was in university. His roommate was unable to go home for the holidays, and so Sandberg invited him to come to his house. As Sandberg introduced his roommate to his hard-of-hearing aunt, he announced, "Auntie, I want you to meet my roommate, Al Specknoodle!" The aunt cupped her ear and shook her head. Carl tried again, "I want you to meet my roommate, Al Specknoodle!" The aunt frowned and shook her head again. Carl sputtered and shouted, "Al Specknoodle, my roommate!" Finally the aunt turned away and said, "It's no use, Carl. No matter how many times you say it, it still sounds like Al Specknoodle!" No matter how many times I have read Paul’s command to give thanks in all circumstances, it still sounds strange.  I don’t think I am hard-hearted, but giving thanks in all circumstances

Seven-In-One-No

BLOG SERIES: The RE REsearch REview “Seven-In-One-No” One of my favorite stories as a kid was “Seven-In-One-Blow.” You may know it as “The Brave Little Tailor,” but a rose by any other name is still a great story.  I’m sure you could tell it yourself (and if you can't, please don’t tell me because it would break my heart), but let me give a quick overview. An ordinary tailor finds his lunch of bread and jam rudely interrupted by a swarm of flies. Infuriated by this pesky horde of flying pestilence, he slammed his hand down to annihilate them; and to his surprise, he kills seven-in-one-blow. It was such an amazing feat that he felt he ought to commemorate it by making a belt proclaiming the accomplishment, “seven-in-one-blow.” Buttressed by this achievement, he set off into the world to seek his fortune. Of course, everyone who meets him thinks he killed seven

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