Seriously, what spiritual benefit is there in moving, of all the places, to the desert? 

Henri Nouwen writes:

“Desert spirituality is a movement toward a different type of place—the move to the desert. The desert has two aspects: wilderness and paradise. On the one hand, the desert is a dry and sterile place. It is the place of the demon. (‘When the unclean spirit goes out of a person, it wanders through waterless countries to look for a place to rest’ – Luke 11:24). And whenever God appears, the evil one is also present. . . . In the city, with its compulsions and compromises, the lines between God and the demon become blurred. Good is called evil and evil good. But in the desert the true struggle becomes clear. In the desert, where compulsions no longer rule us and we no longer can borrow an identity from the world, the question simply becomes: Are you for me or against me?” [emphasis mine].   (Nomura, page 113-114)

Nouwen is asking us to focus on a very important question, a question the desert fathers and mothers sought to answer, namely, who are we? Are we God’s people, called to reflect his truth and holiness in everything we do or are we autonomous and free to do whatever we want? Perhaps the question that Nouwen and the desert saints are asking us to answer is this: Who is truly the Lord of our lives? 

To underscore Nouwen’s words, here are three stories from the desert fathers that probe this question of our life “ownership” even more: 

“A brother asked Abba Poeman: ‘What does it mean to get angry at one’s brother without cause’ And he replied: ‘When your brother attacks you, whatever the insults are, if you get angry at him, you are getting angry without cause. Even if he were to pull out your right eye and to cut off your right hand, if you get angry at him, you are getting angry without cause. Yet if he were to try to take you away from God, then, get angry!’”   (Nomura, Page 50)

“A brother who was insulted by another brother came to Abba Sisoes, and said to him: ‘I was hurt by my brother, and I want to avenge myself.’ The old man tried to console him and said: ‘Don’t do that, my child. Rather, leave vengeance to God.’ But he said: ‘I will not quit until I avenge myself.’ Then, the old man said: ‘Let us pray, brother’; and standing up, he said: ‘O God, we no longer need you to take care of us since we now avenge ourselves.’ Hearing these words, the brother fell at the feet of the old man and said: ‘I am not going to fight with my brother any more. Forgive me, Abba.’”   (Nomura, Page 53)

“A brother renounced the world and gave his goods to the poor, but he kept back a little for his personal expenses. He went to see Abba Anthony. When he told him this, the old man said to him, ‘If you want to be a monk, go into the village, buy some meat, cover your naked body with it and come here like that.’ The brother did so, and the dogs and birds tore at his flesh. When he came back, the old man asked him whether he had followed his advice. He showed him his wounded body, and Saint Anthony said, ‘Those who renounce the world, but want to keep something for themselves are torn in this way by the demons who make war on them.’”
(Ward, page 5)

Three Questions to Ponder

Think about Abba Poeman’s belief that we have very few rights (not even the right to get angry when someone wrongs us in a significant way). How do you react to that story? If we don’t have the right to get angry and must submit everything—even our emotions—to God, what rights do we have? Are you okay with that?

The desert fathers apparently advocated an all-or-nothing faith—either you were for God or you were against him, either you obeyed Jesus or you were in rebellion against him. Do you think they were right in this “all-or-nothing” approach or were they too unyielding? Where in your life do you need to adopt this more exacting approach? Where do you need to give yourself more grace and forgiveness? 

If someone wise looked at your life, where might they suggest you are living more for yourself than for God? What would it mean for you to give yourself completely over to the Lordship of Jesus?

References:

  • Desert Wisdom, Yushi Nomura, Orbis Books, 1982 (Henri Nouwen wrote the epilogue)
  • The Sayings of the Desert Fathers: An Alphabetical Collection, Benedicta Ward, Cistercian Publications, 1975